Sorting Through Messages
Everyone has storage in their brain. Depending on your generation (Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, Generation X, Milennials, Generation Z, Alpha or Beta), you can compare this “storage” to an 8-track tape, cassette tape, CD or Spotify streaming. Your “storage” has recorded all kinds of messages since you were born. When you were 3 and you picked up a frog, the message might have been: “Yuck! Frogs are dirty, put that down”. When you were 5 years old shopping for school clothes and you wanted a purple shirt, the message was, “Purple is for girls”. As a teen, a friend may have said “Drink this. It will make you feel great!” As a 25-year-old the message may have been, “You better hurry up and get married.” No matter your age, the messages keep coming in. As you move past childhood, you must decide if you want to keep that message in storage or reject it.
Which messages should you keep?
From the millions of messages in storage that you have kept throughout your life, which ones are helpful? Which messages need to be erased? Most of us were taught that messages from adults and authority figures, such as teachers and our elders, were the kind of messages we needed to follow and keep in our storage. Unfortunately, this may or may not be true. People sometimes pass on messages from their own storage that may be harmful or helpful. On the other hand, messages which you were told to reject may be worth reviewing again at various times throughout your life.
Removing Unhelpful Messages
As you move throughout your life, you have to learn to sort through your messages. Keep what is helpful and remove what is not helpful or even harmful. This may sound like an impossible task. Where do you start? Identify people in your life with similar beliefs and interests as you that are also trustworthy. Ask yourself, “Is this person’s life moving in a positive direction? Is this person finding some success?” If yes, this may be a person with whom you can share some of your stored messages.
What do you do if you do not have a person in your life whom you can trust with your stored messages? If your stored messages are interfering in you living your best life, it may be time to talk with a behavioral health professional. A behavioral health professional such as a therapist or counselor will be able to help you sort through these messages. The therapist/counselor will not decide for you which messages to keep or delete. Instead, this person will help you look at each message, evaluate how it affects your life currently and how you want to respond to the stored message. It won’t always be easy to think and talk about these memories, but you will find some new ways to cope with your stored messages.
Access to a behavioral health professional is available whether you have an insurance policy, Medicaid, Medicare or even no insurance. In Polk County there are behavioral health professionals for everyone seeking behavioral health treatment.
Teresa Even, LMHC, CAP
Manager of Behavioral Health Services
BayCare, Winter Haven Hospital Center for Behavioral Health Annex